This Ain’t Terminator XXX Porn Review

This Ain't Terminator XXX - front CoverThis Ain't Terminator XXX - Back Cover
Title: This Ain’t Terminator XXX.
Talent: Bailey Blue, Brett Rossi, Juelz Ventura, Julia Ann, Leya Falcon, Melina Mason, Alex Gonz, Billy Glide, Brendon Miller, Dick Delaware.
Non-Sex Performers: Kylie Ireland, RayVeness, Sabrina Maree, Andy Appleton, Kris Slater, Shylar Cobi.
Studio: Hustler
Director: Axel Braun.
Extras: 2 Disc Set: 2D & 3D Feature, 3-D Glasses, Behind the Scenes, Interviews, Gallery, Trailers.
Duration: 1 Hr. 42 Min.

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Review:
One of Hollywood’s most successful sci-fi sagas is finally getting a porn parody courtesy of director Axel Braun and Hustler. This Ain’t Terminator XXX starring Dick Delaware as the infamous cyborg who made Arnold Schwarzenegger’s career, is the newest review we have from Hustler Video, but we’re also going to have This Ain’t Die Hard XXX very soon.

Here’s the information we have on This Ain’t Terminator XXX:
“A horny cyborg is sent from the future to kill Sarah Connor, a young woman whose life will have a great impact on humanity in years to come. Thankfully, the terminator has one weakness: pussy. From award-winning director Axel Braun comes a new hilarious 3D spoof that will once again raise the bar for porn parodies!”

It’s not always easy to watch a porn parody because I’m very picky when it comes to these movies, but Axel Braun has a good eye for parodies, so I’m hoping this movie is good. However, the length of the movie makes me believe this is just a sex movie with 5 minutes of plot and 5 sex long scenes. Let’s see how this movie does, here’s my adult review of This Ain’t Terminator XXX:

This Ain't Terminator XXX - Juelz Ventura, Alex Gonz, Billy GlideJuelz Ventura, Alex Gonz, Billy Glide Rating 4
Naughty Juelz is getting it on with Alex and Billy when the cyborg from the future shows up. However, he doesn’t get involved in this threesome, and just watches them. She pleases one of the guys with her mouth while the other bangs her pussy, and they switch turns. The threesome happens mostly on top of a car, and it was very good action.

This Ain't Terminator XXX - Brett Rossi, Melina MasonBrett Rossi, Melina Mason Rating 4
While looking for Sarah Connor, the cyborg gets to watch more sexual action in a bar. This time there’s girl on girl sex, and the girls are performing on stage while people in the background look, and there are girls looking! The girls really please each other. There’s a lot of pussy licking, face-sitting and fingering, plus they perform a 69 too. Very good.

This Ain't Terminator XXX - Leya Falcon, Dick DelawareLeya Falcon, Dick Delaware Rating 3
In the same bar the cyborg gets lucky, and he gets a blowjob from “Sarah Connor”. Leya is a very cute blonde with a nice technique for giving head. She deep throats a lot, and she gives very wet BJs. The blowjob is actually brief, and Leya barely shows her big boobs during the action. He cums on her knockers, and that’s it. No teasing, or something.

This Ain't Terminator XXX - Julia Ann, Dick DelawareJulia Ann, Dick Delaware Rating-Boobs-5.jpg
The next “Sarah Connor” is waiting for a guy to please her. She called the escort number, but the cyborg showed up first, and she doesn’t know this isn’t her male escort. She starts by giving head to him, and tit-fucking him briefly. She fucks him in reverse cowgirl position first, but then, she decides to go for anal sex! It was a sizzling hot sex scene!!

This Ain't Terminator XXX - Bailey Blue, Brendon MillerBailey Blue, Brendon Miller Rating 3
After making brief minutes of comedy, Brendon and Bailey finally get it on with the beautiful girl reaching for his cock with her mouth, and giving him great head. He also goes down on her and fingers her pussy to please her. They start fucking in a type missionary with a lot of intensity, they switch to doggy, but they’re just fucking, no real chemistry.

Summing up:
This Ain’t Terminator XXX from Hustler and director Axel Braun is a porn parody with a lot of holes in the super-mega short plot, and it doesn’t engage you at all. There are several things that I didn’t enjoy, for starters I was expecting a movie with at least some action, but there’s no action at all.

Some problems I found were:
Arnold was like a real machine, very tense, very cyborg-like. Dick Delaware is a real dude, very emotional and elastic on his movements, nothing close of a cyborg. Even though he looked really good with the Terminator clothing on, he acted nothing like a Terminator.

The short plot content of this movie is a comedy, a real parody, and I bet that you’re expecting action like the action in the Terminator movies, I was expecting that. The FX were just okay during the movie, I have to say they got a little better by the final scene.

Yes, the movie sets had a great design, and they were colored to match the colors of the original Terminator movie, but why not add a nice plot instead of just people having sex? Acting was very close to the Naked Gun/Airplane movies, but dialogue wasn’t funny like in Star Wars XXX.

The bonus material includes interviews with Brendon Miller, Dick Delaware, Bailey Blue, Melina Mason, Sabrina Maree and Brett Rossi. This content lasts almost 18 minutes, and it was entertaining if you want to find out more about your favorite porn stars.

I have to be honest and say you could skip this one, but if you really want to check it out (Julia Ann’s anal with Dick Delaware was great), you should rent it. I’m not sure if the movie gets better in 3D, I rented the standard version.

3 Reasons to Watch This Ain’t Terminator XXX:
*  Julia Ann is always a good reason to check out a movie, and she adds anal sex!
* The interviews in the bonus materials are very entertaining.
* The sets, some FX and color themes were very close to the original flick.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.
Awful Movie.
Rating-Boobs.jpg Rating-Boobs.jpg

 

 
This was Hustler‘s This Ain’t Terminator XXX Movie Review. You can find more titles from Hustler here.

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