This Ain’t Die Hard XXX: John McClane Does Porn!

This Ain't Die Hard XXX - Front CoverThis Ain't Die Hard XXX - Back Cover
Title: This Ain’t Die Hard XXX.
Talent: Brooklyn Lee, Capri Cavalli, Holly Taylor, Kimberly Kane, Leilani Leeanne, Billy Glide, Derrick Pierce, Ryan Driller, Tommy Gunn.
Non-Sex Performers: Phoenix Marie, Sabrina Star.
Studio: Hustler.
Director: Stuart Canterbury
Extras: 2 Disc Set: 2D & 3D Version, 3D Glasses Included, Behind the Scenes, Photo Gallery, Trailers.
Duration: 1 Hr. 46 Min.

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Review:
This Ain’t Die Hard XXX from Hustler and director Stuart Canterbury is a movie that goes an extra mile trying to parody one of the hottest action classics of all time: Die Hard. I have to say that Derrick Pierce looks really good as John McClane and I was a little surprised that Hans Gruber was a girl in this flick and it’s Kimberly Kane, but I was looking forward to this parody!

Here’s the information we have onThis Ain’t Die Hard XXX:
“Yippee ki-yay, mother fucker! Come out to the coast, we’ll get together, have a few laughs… and sex! Lots and lots of hot sex! Shot in 3-D.”

The movie includes five sex scenes, and one of them is a masturbation scene. I’m wondering if there’s going to be any anal included, or maybe an improvised threesome. Sargent Powell is played by a girl too, and a gorgeous one: Leilani Leeanne!! I hope the plot doesn’t get too brief and uninteresting, that would be bad. Here’s my adult review of This Ain’t Die Hard XXX:

This Ain't Die Hard XXX - Holly Taylor, Billy GlideHolly Taylor, Billy Glide Rating 3
Santa is giving a prize for naughty girls, and since Holly has been a very naughty girl, Santa’s got something for her, so she gets on her knees, and starts blowing Santa’s wide cock. She rides him cowgirl style and lets him hump her. She shows some of her moves, but Billy is in control of sex most of the time. She gets a cumshot facial. It was a good start.

This Ain't Die Hard XXX - Kimberly Kane, Tommy GunnKimberly Kane, Tommy Gunn Rating 4
Whoa, Kimberly Kane gives me fantastic goose bumps as the villain of the movie. I loved it when she’s in control and makes Tommy lick her pussy. He does a great job, and then, he humps her mouth. Kimberly started controlling, but then, sex is controlled by Tommy, except when he sits on a chair and she sits on him and shows her moves. Very good!

This Ain't Die Hard XXX - Capri CavalliCapri Cavalli Rating-Boobs-5.jpg
After finally getting what she was looking for, Capri is so excited that she finds time for herself. She starts rubbing her body with the money, and then, she rubs her pussy with her panties still on. The setting and music are very sensual, and it fits perfectly for a masturbation scene. She gets a vibrator and lube and plays some more. It was a sizzling hot solo!

This Ain't Die Hard XXX - Leilani Leeanne, Ryan DrillerLeilani Leeanne, Ryan Driller Rating 4
McClane is desperate trying to stop a bomb from blowing, but his friend in the outdoors is also dealing with a blow. Stunning Leilani gives a terrific blowjob to her superior, I’m guessing to release the tension of the Hustler building situation. He licks her pussy nicely and they start humping while she’s leaning on the patrol. This was very hot sex!!

This Ain't Die Hard XXX - Brooklyn Lee, Derrick PierceBrooklyn Lee, Derrick Pierce Rating-Boobs-5.jpg
The rooftop is ready for even more action (only a different kind). The couple make out and Brooklyn lets him dominate sex. He rubs her clit, eat her pussy and finger her. She gives him a fantastic blowjob as she usually does, and they fuck in cowgirl position first in which Brooklyn shows her fantastic sex moves! Derrick also gives her a great pounding.

Summing up:
This Ain’t Die Hard XXX from Hustler was quite a ride, and I enjoyed it much more than I thought. Director Stuart Canterbury did a very good job with the movie at first, but after the first half of the movie is done, the plot is slashed dramatically and you end up with a  very short plot later.

Obviously, the especial effects are not top notch, but I think they’re very decent compared to other porn parodies. I’ve checked what other reviewers have to say about this movie, and I don’t completely agree with the movie being a complete waste of time. I think there are worst porn parodies than this movie, and I’ve seen lots of them, and this was actually pretty decent for me.

There’s nothing really exotic like a threesome, interracial or anal, but sometimes the good one on one sex is good enough. My problem with this movie comes from the rushed plot after the first half. The movie had a very decent plot at the beginning and that got me very excited, then, the movie plot was turned into something Axel Braun would film, meaning a movie with a very, very brief plot.

I didn’t reviewed the 3D version ‘cause sometimes we have to rent our materials, and this was one of those times, but the standard version was good enough for me. In this movie there are 2 girls that captured my entire attention: Leilani Leeanne and mean villain Kimberly Kane. Both girls did a nice job, and Kimberly was so evil that I wanted her to come and spank us! Derrick Pierce did a nice job as John McClane, at first I noticed he was nervous, but as time passes he gets much better.

As for the extras, there’s not a lot to offer, a 10 minutes long behind the scenes footage that includes some of the making of the movie (green screen used), there are also other things like a photo gallery, trailers and spam. Overall, I think this movie was good, and entertaining movie!

3 Reasons to Watch This Ain’t Die Hard XXX:
* Leilani Leeanne and Kimberly Kane rocked this movie!
* The plot was very entertaining first, it was a shame it was rushed later.
* Capri Cavalli did a terrific job in her masturbation scene.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.
Good Movie.
Rating-Boobs.jpg Rating-Boobs.jpg Rating-Boobs.jpg

 

 
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